Thursday, February 4, 2010

Things Adults Learn From Kids:

- There is no such thing as child-proofing your house - they will find a way to get in

- A 4 years-old?s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Snoopy underwear and a Superman cape.

- It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

- The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn?t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it?s already too late.

- A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

- A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

- If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.

- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

- Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

- Super glue is forever.

- McGyver can teach us many things we don?t want to know.

- Ditto Tarzan.

- No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can?t walk on water.

- Pool filters do not like Jello.

- VCR?s do not eject sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

- You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

- Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

- Plastic toys do not like ovens.

- The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time.

- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

- It will however make cats dizzy.

- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

- Quiet does not necessarily mean don?t worry.

- A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).


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