Funny Adds

The following are regrettably phrased classified ads that have been placed in newspapers throughout the world.

- "Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel."

- "Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 yeards old. Hateful little dog."

- "Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days."

- "Georgia peaches, California grown - 89 cents lb."

- "Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour."

- "Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop."

- "Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00."

- "Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required."

- "Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too."

- "We’ll move you worldwide throughout the country."

- "Tattoos done while you wait."

- "Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it."

- "Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."

- "Illiterate? Write today for free help."