IF

If...

- If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?
- If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
- If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn’t an exterminator be the opposite?
- If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
- If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
- If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?
- If Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
- If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
- If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
- If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?